Não aguento muito mais esta merda
Só me acontece merda... Mas já aprendi a lição...
Relaxar...
- posted by da @ 05:14 1 comments

 
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- posted by da @ 05:12 1 comments

 
Time travel
Time is changement from one state to another... or if you will movement. So, when you get to a ship and start travelling really, really fast...something happens to you and to your ship wich also speeds up the movement of yourself. Of course you don't realize that, because in relation to what's around you, you're mind is normal, since they're both going at the same speed. However, for someone staying down in Earth, who don't have this speed affect themselves, will..mmm...will finish later
- posted by da @ 04:19

 
I'm so afraid. I'm afraid I won't be ever happy. I'm afraid I'm gonna continue to have bad thoughts about me. I'm afraid of what I'll do to other people. I'm afraid of me and I'm afraid of it. I'm so missing being close to someone. Feeling secure by sharing something with them. Feeling a human being. I'm so afraid I'll fail. I'm angry I think that there is such a thing as "fail" in human life.


I HAVE TO BE ONE WITH THE TAO...NO DEMANS...NO EXPECTATIONS...NO WORRIES...NO GRUDGES...NO NOTHING...JUST THE TAO
- posted by da @ 04:17 0 comments

 
So I was offered an easy fuck...
Yeah... so yesterday nigh she called, said she would be in my country again.. yada yada yada....She starts saying she's horny and why don't I go to her city when she gets here (not just meet her in the airport which is in near me...)....

I only found that out after the chat was over, a chat were I expressed my strong feelings about her... I'm kinda slow with these things...

So...what to do, what to do?

Fuck her?
.......
fuck her...........

Why?

I pondered (not pondered, more like *felt*) this and I wouldn't feel good after it (even though I bet it might, *might* be good to have a fuck without feelings, since thats what it would be.).

But I decided I wont. I wont because I'm really not that kind of person.. I'm not being arrogant or anything, I'm just saying I just can't.

It would hurt me more than give me pleasure. It would hurt me afterwards (if not during... it would probably...) because I would feel used, like a kleenex... Like an object whose feelings don't matter, as a piece of meat. So, you'd say "Yeah, but you would use her too! It's a mutual understanding" But I don't feel like that. Besides having all the intimacy I once shared with her be spat on with this kind of proposal (and which has made me really fell out of love with her once and for all) I would be telling myself "Life is a piece of shit, and the only reason people get together is to fuck their brains out" Because I'd be saying "Yeah, life is all about getting a big car... getting laid by all means possible (lying included, of course) and fuck me, fuck you and everyone else in the planet).

I don't believe that, and I don't want to believe that. That would really make the world a lot grayer in my eyes.. All I felt during my childhood would loose its meaning... All the kindness I felt (and perhaps should have demonstrated) would be despized as childish endeavours. And besides... I really would feel bad after it. I would feel hurt. Because understanding or no understanding, I don't like being treated like a piece of meat. Like all I can give to the world is to be used by someone else. Because I'd be saying I'm not worthy of touch, affection and understanding, only of being used. I'd be saying I'm a piece of shit and so is everyone. I don't want to believe that.

Because I don't want that kind of relationship.. I want a true reaching for the other's soul. And *most important in all of this* I want to respect my feelings and myself, and not let anyone disrespect them.

So, whats the conclusion? I'm not a fucker. I'm a fucking person.
- posted by da @ 06:42 1 comments

 
Trying to fix a bug in kde
This is it! My first atempt. My goal? Fix a bug in kde. Will I make it, or break it? Stay tuned for another edition of:

StarGalactiCoder!!!Ui!!!

I'll report the progress.
- posted by da @ 00:31 1 comments